Kirsten Johansen
Kirsten Johansen owns Giraffe Tango Octopus (GTO) Coaching for Humans. She tells us that, “I help bright, successful, high-achievers silence their inner critic, accept themselves without condition, and take their leadership to the next level.”
What were your initial years of growing up like? Tell us about your life before starting your professional journey/venture/initiative and what inspired you to choose this career.
My childhood was both idyllic and stressful. I have countless fond memories of spending time with my family, waterskiing in the summers, taking vacations together, playing outside until the streetlights came on, picking blackberries, and coming home with stained faces and fingers. I lived in only two homes; there was never even a whisper of a thought that my parents would not stay together, and I attended school with the same people from kindergarten through high school. My dad, a teacher and coach, was also a perfectionist. So, unbeknownst to me, I was internalizing the high standards and expectations that were applied to nearly everything, including grades, work, manners, intellect, appearance, achievement, athletic ability, money management, and social status. I longed to be accepted and knew that to get that, I would need to meet these impossible standards. I would carry this core belief for decades, only understanding much later that true acceptance only comes from within.
Was there any turning point in your life that changed your journey? If so, what was it? Please tell us the backstory behind it.
Forty years as a perfectionist led to success, but it was never enough. Even when I set a high bar and met it, I did not feel joyful, proud, or happy. The acceptance I sought from achievement, performance, and sacrifice was elusive, and I was exhausted. When I experienced a loss and spiraled into despair, the dark emptiness I saw when I looked inside myself was scary and unfamiliar. I wanted a different life. This was the turning point that started my journey to unconditional self-acceptance, where self-hate is unwelcome, and self-love is practiced in all aspects of life. It is the crux of every change I’ve made and drives every decision in my life today.
Tell us about your goals, interests, and role models.
My goals are to continue my work and practice my way to an inner peace that even the most stressful life circumstances cannot disrupt. My role models embody this ability to live in a state of unconditional acceptance and compassion for self and others and to detach from judgment, criticism, and worry. I’m interested in freedom, travel, and international living. To that end, I spend part of my time on the beautiful Oregon coast and the other part in the Mediterranean on the tiny Maltese Island of Gozo.
Everyone has their own set of challenges when starting an entrepreneurial journey. Still, the most essential part for others to learn is how you deal with those. Would you like to share with us your challenges and your coping mechanisms?
One recommendation for most entrepreneurs is not to give up. I certainly agree with that, as there are discouraging times in the entrepreneurial journey. As a former perfectionist, I also realized I needed to become a better quitter. When you discover that something is not for you, continuing it out of a sense of obligation or fear of judgment may lead you down the wrong path. So, as I sift through the myriad recommendations for building a business, I must hold on to the ones that are “for me” and let the others go.
What impact do you feel you have been able to create with your work so far and how would you want to grow in the next few years?
I have raised awareness of the destructive nature of the inner critic, self-doubt, self-hate, and perfectionism. Most importantly, in my coaching, writing, and radio show, I discuss the freedom that comes from silencing the inner critic and exiting self-hate from one’s life. It takes practice to recondition the critical voices that most of us have been listening to and believing for most of our lives. But that’s also the good news. They aren’t permanent. They aren’t true. They are just conditioning, and they can be changed with practice. My growth in the next few years will encompass working with leaders to silence their inner critic and cultivate self-acceptance. Pairing compassion and acceptance with strategy and business acumen creates a highly effective leader. Leaders guide and lift us in so many areas of our lives.
While the global pandemic of COVID-19 is associated primarily with adversities, it has also brought about a true boom in startups, with successful entrepreneurship in many countries. The pandemic has impacted all of us in one way or another. Would you like to share your experience on a personal and professional level?
I was alone for the vast majority of 2020 and 2021. While the isolation sickness that I experienced was challenging, it also allowed me to focus on building a new life from the inside out. I took on my healing as the most important project of my life. Changing my beliefs and treating myself with unconditional positive regard allowed me to make big life decisions and significant changes without fear because I could hear my intuitive voice. I let go of my property, corporate job, possessions, car, and social circle and began a new life that feels uniquely mine.
Your journey and your vision are very inspiring, but are there any achievements or accomplishments you would like to mention?
After I left my corporate job, I took a few months off. I needed space away from work, resumes, interviews, and the constant pressure to perform and promote to know what I wanted. I connected with my desire to write, tell stories with my voice, and use my experiences to help others. When VoiceAmerica contacted me about developing a radio show, it seemed like a magical fit. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to make my weekly radio show/podcast GTO Freedom for Humans, where we talk about all things unconditional self-acceptance.
Would you like to share with our young budding women entrepreneurs the change you would like to see in the world if given an opportunity?
I would love for each person, at an individual level, to free themselves from judgment and criticism. To accept themselves exactly as they are without condition. To accept 100% responsibility for their internal and external life and to make decisions for themselves from a place of love and self-respect. You have no ammunition to judge others when you don’t judge yourself. Can you imagine this judgment-free paradise?
What’s the most important thing you have learned in your personal life and professional journey? What is your personal motto in life?
There is nothing wrong with me. And most things don’t have anything to do with me. Given that we are where we put our attention, this frees me to focus on acceptance, living in the present, and disidentifying with the inner critic, starving it into silence.
Women are a growing force in the workplaces worldwide, standing shoulder to shoulder with their male counterparts. There are cracks in glass ceilings everywhere, with many women breaking through to carve out a space right at the top of the pyramid. What are your thoughts about women’s leadership today?
As a leader for the last three decades, I was mentored and promoted by a handful of men and one woman. Wouldn’t it be great to flip those numbers around? It is incumbent upon female leaders to look for and cultivate talent in other women so they can rise to the highest levels of leadership. Let’s do it together!
With your grit and determination, you are making a considerable impact, breaking through, and serving as role models for many budding entrepreneurs. What would you want to say to our young women leaders/audience reading this?
Put yourself first. Center yourself in your own life. Do not concern yourself with the judgments of others or your appearance. Cultivate compassion and acceptance for yourself so you can make your unique contribution to the world and live your one and only life free from suffering.