Dr. Perpetua Neo
Dr. Perpetua Neo is a clinical psychologist who coaches leaders and their organisations to perform and lead at their best always, and sleep like a cat. She is currently based in the heart of Singapore after ten years in the UK; and works with clients across six continents. In 2022, she also became a published author with Simon & Schuster.
She says that, “I also work with different organisations and bodies to promote neurodiversity and personality diversity, meaning leveraging the ways we are wired. As someone with ADHD, this is very close to my heart. These organisations include Stanford’s Neurodiversity Project, LinkedIn, Lancôme, and I sit on panels and discussions with banks and financial institutions.”
Tell us about your life before the venture/ leading up to your venture?
I’ve been coaching and solving problems from my adolescence, hired to help people get into demanding programs or craft the right spiel for their jobs. Then I decided to pursue my Masters in Criminological Research at Cambridge, before doing my Doctorate in Clinical Psychology at University College London. This involved intensive clinical work through various clinics, mental health services and hospitals through London. The bigger plan was to meld my knack for coaching with therapy, whilst being rooted in a deep respect for biology, physical health and multicultural settings, into my practise.
Tell us something about your organization. What is it about and how is it helpful for people?
My work is about creating sustainable change that is tailored to people’s lifestyles, goals and personalities. Often, we know that we need to sleep well, eat well, move well, and take care of our mental health. . but how do we do that in a way that inspires us, gets us to do it automatically, and feel good? Instead of burning out or feeling like we need to clog up our to-do lists, how can we help leaders to create their own personal culture of excellence, and then lead their teams and organisations by example.
Part of this comes also from making sure that we get to the root of what blocks us. This often includes the Big 3 I see often– perfectionism, panic attacks, and toxic relationships– which we think we can tolerate, but sap our energy away.
And it’s not just about resting or taking care of our physical energy. Our industries vary in their demands– you can’t just go all slower-paced in some sectors, nor can you just slow down during busy seasons. To that end, ideas like 4 day work week, hybrid working or mental health seminars may have great intentions, but may not end up costing more.
What we aim to do is to create systems with longevity, so people and teams perform without burning out, and inspire the next generations. And, so people can harness the variations in the ways their brains are wired, from different personality types to ADHD to autism.
What has been the response of the consumers towards your venture?
Plenty of clients tell me that they wish they had found me earlier, because many mental health specialists did not understand what they were going through, especially in the case of Type A++ personalities and those embroiled in toxic relationships. For instance, it is impossible to tell a Type A person to rest or just chill and be zen, or meditate for two hours; they won’t get it until their brains understand why. So I teach them the sports concept of active recovery, and how to reset their brains. The chill things they happen to like, we incorporate that; otherwise, no. For those in toxic relationships, they want a no-nonsense system that holds them accountable and that gets them out of the relationship for good. Whether it is leaving the partner, or negotiating a multi-million cross-continental divorce lawsuit, they need to have their heads straight. And be aware of the traps. Whilst healing so they can live peacefully. Plenty of them tell me that they did not believe in therapy, or that couples therapy became the new arena where they were abused; and they got murkier and foggier.
In all forms of work that I do, combining healing and practicality is important, we want to help someone build their next chapter. In other words, we want to make your past pay dividends for you, and your demons to work for you.
One of the biggest honours I can have is being told I’ve changed someone’s life, especially during the darkest points of their lives. I am grateful they decided to embark on the path on their own accord, because it’s their actions that make the difference.
I am also most honoured to have been considered 50 Women in 50 Years by Cambridge, and to be one of mindbodygreen’s cutting edge mental health leaders.
How has your life changed because of your venture?
As a psychologist and coach, I take walking my talk very seriously. Just because I know what the theory and research findings say, doesn’t mean I don’t test it out on myself first (if it fits my personality/lifestyle) or make sure I live a life I am proud of.
A big change has been increased discipline and fitness.
When I started, the only activity I did mostly was walking, mostly because it suited my lifestyle and it was easy.
High performers, as I have realised, are also incredibly active people.
I’ve worked with elite sportspeople and military, CEO and C-suite leaders, busy entrepreneurs, and other executives in leadership positions way ahead of their peers, who are also avid sportspeople.
That challenged me to start working out, even on vacation.
Today I am a runner, when I failed my physical fitness exams as a student. I also work out, hike, and attend Barry’s Bootcamp. These lean muscles on my body reflect the mental muscles I’ve gained from challenging myself.
Another one I’m particularly proud of is true confidence.
I was always a socially awkward and socially anxious introvert who could pass off for confidence, but always knew the gulf. I decided to challenge myself to be confident in my own skin, talk to anybody easily, and feel zero anxiety.
Today I am still an introvert (with no plans to change my wiring) and have learnt to let that lead me ahead in my social interactions. Being with people is easy.
Give a motivational message for the audience/women who are reading this.
That thing that you are fabulous at, that makes your passion burn, that you are willing to work hard at, that makes you want to be a champion for your younger self or someone less privileged, get at it in a practical systematic manner. Pick up the skills to help you along the way, make friends with people where you can take care of each other, and sort out the inner obstacles along the path. Keep building your inner and external resources, and keep remembering to zoom out to see your progress.